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"Don't let the emotional ship dock prematurely!" 》PPT
What is puppy love?
Puppy love is also called adolescent love. It refers to underage men and women establishing a romantic relationship or being interested, infatuated or secretly in love with the opposite sex. It is generally believed that relationships before college are so-called "puppy love."
Puppy love is mostly harmful and basically has no benefits!
1. Affect learning and life. Some middle school students mistakenly believe that "as long as two people share the same goals, it will not affect learning" or "mutually promote learning." But from a medical point of view, those who fall in early love often focus on love, and their emotions are restrained by the other person. In addition, coupled with their immature body and mind, it is almost impossible not to affect their learning. The reason why many parents and teachers discover that their children fall in love often starts with the decline in their academic performance.
2. Puppy love makes people easily hurt. Teenagers have unstable attitudes and are prone to conflicts in love. They are psychologically immature, fragile and have poor tolerance, and are easily hurt by emotional twists and turns. Some teenagers have doubts about life because of the frustration of early love, which casts a shadow on their emotional life and even affects their future marriage life.
3. Puppy love is prone to sexual misconduct. Teenagers have budding sexual consciousness, are easily excited, and act on whim regardless of the consequences of their actions. And after deviant behavior occurs, they will be ashamed to speak up and fearful. These will have an impact on future life. The sense of inferiority and frustration that some people develop can even seriously affect their future lives. A survey on sexual crimes showed that 50.1% of male offenders and 71.9% of female offenders committed their first sexual offenses between the ages of 15 and 19.
4. Puppy love is extremely difficult to succeed. The blindness and immaturity of puppy love, as well as the interference of parents and schools, as well as many factors such as entering a higher school, changing schools, and working, make it extremely difficult to succeed. According to research by American social psychologists, men who marry before the age of 23 have the highest divorce rate.
It is undeniable that in some cases, early love also has its benefits, and this view is generally among students. Some students believe that puppy lovers often catch up with each other in terms of grades in order to obtain each other's pleasure and preference, so that their grades will rise; some also have admiration for someone and follow their preferences, restraining themselves in every aspect of life, in order to satisfy the admired person. Standards serve as the yardstick for life, allowing some originally bad characters and habits to be corrected. Puppy love can also enable people to exercise their social skills and enhance interpersonal relationships.
What are the characteristics of puppy love? ? ?
1. Obscurity
Adolescents who fall in early love are not clear about the development and outcome of their early love relationships. Their main desire is to be alone with the opposite sex. However, they lack a clear understanding of starting a family in the future, how to handle romantic relationships and academic relationships, and how to distinguish between friendship and love.
2. Contradiction
Teenagers who are in puppy love relationships are also full of contradictions in their hearts. They want to be in contact but are afraid of being discovered. Pleasure and pain coexist in the process of puppy love.
3.Variability
Puppy love relationship is an emotional relationship full of changes and extremely unstable. One-on-one puppy love relationships between teenagers lack permanence and generally do not last very long.
4. Difference
There are obvious differences in adolescent love behavior. In terms of behavior, some teenagers' puppy love behavior is very covert, conveying feelings through letters, phone calls, etc., but there are also teenagers who are very open about it and go out in pairs on many occasions, just like a couple. In terms of relationship level, the main activities of most teenagers in puppy love relationships are chatting together and exchanging secret feelings. From the perspective of interpersonal relationships, they have not exceeded normal relationships. Some relationships develop very deep, and in addition to talking about feelings, they even have sex. In terms of age preference, girls prefer men who are older and more mature than themselves. When they are of the same age, it is mostly girls who take the initiative. Boys like girls who are younger than themselves and reflect their masculinity in their relationships.
Why do middle school students fall in love early?
There are many reasons why middle school students fall in love early!
1. From a physiological perspective, we know that when an individual develops into puberty (which starts at 11 to 12 years old for girls and 13 to 14 years old for boys), sexual development begins and secondary sexual characteristics are revealed. Because you are not mentally prepared for your own physiological changes, you will have uneasiness, shyness and fear about sex in a short period of time (about half a year to a year); after that, there will be another tendency, that is, towards the opposite sex. Generate interest, curiosity and affection for the opposite sex, and sexual impulses begin to appear.
2. Today’s teenagers are generally precocious, and the corresponding education cannot keep up. Many parents have no idea that their children have entered puberty, and even if they do know, they keep it secretive and secretive, which only arouses the curiosity of teenagers.
3. Most of today's teenagers lack a sense of responsibility. They regard love and even sexual relations as fun, and never think of being responsible for each other. A boy in the third grade of a middle school said bluntly: "I started dating her in the first grade of junior high school. I just talked about it for fun. I never thought about marrying her for the rest of my life."
4. It’s vanity that causes trouble. There is a popular concept among junior high school students: if you have a partner, you are capable, but if you don't have a partner, you are incompetent and will be looked down upon. As a result, some students scramble to find someone to talk to, and the more they change, the better.
5. The parents of left-behind students work or do business outside all year round. Some of them are generous with their children's finances out of a compensatory mentality. This has caused some left-behind students to gradually develop an unenterprising and free-spirited attitude. bad habit.
manifestations of puppy love
(1) Pay attention to dressing up and hairstyle, and behave abnormally in front of the opposite sex.
(2) Inattention in class, many worries, and academic performance is on the decline.
(3) Stay silent and avoid group activities.
(4) Abnormal interactions occur and communication contacts increase significantly.
(5) The purpose is vague, and the development and outcome of puppy love are not clear.
(6) Inner conflict, wanting contact but fearing discovery. Pleasure and fear coexist in the process of puppy love.
(7) Fickle, relationships generally do not last long.
(8) Differences in behavior: Some teenagers’ puppy love behaviors are more subtle, while others are very public and unabashed, just like adults’ love affairs.
There are also different types of puppy love! (Can be divided into 8 types)
The first type, the admiration type, is the phenomenon of early love between teenagers due to their admiration for each other. According to the different objects of admiration, it can be divided into: appearance type, which is the puppy love that is caused by admiring the other person's external appearance; expertise type, which is the puppy love that is caused by admiring the other person's ability and expertise; character type, which is the puppy love that is caused by admiring the other person's ability and expertise; character type, which is the puppy love that is caused by admiring the other person's appearance. Puppy love caused by excellent character.
The second type, curiosity type, is the phenomenon of puppy love caused by curiosity about the opposite sex. Strong curiosity about the opposite sex is a psychological phenomenon that naturally occurs in adolescents with the development of sexual awareness. Due to their physiological development and sexual maturity, teenagers are prone to sexual impulses and become very sensitive to the opposite sex. They are eager to understand the psychology and physiology of the opposite sex, and to understand the attitude of the opposite sex towards themselves. In order to satisfy this curiosity, they want to make friends of the opposite sex and establish romantic relationships.
The third type, imitation type, is the phenomenon of puppy love caused by imitating the behavior of others. The objects of imitation mainly come from social life, film and television works, newspapers and books.
The fourth type is the herd type, which is the phenomenon of puppy love caused by pressure from people around you. People around you refer to people of the same age group.
The fifth type, the pleasure type, is the phenomenon of puppy love that occurs in order to obtain a pleasant emotional experience. Close interactions between men and women in adolescence often bring pleasant experiences to both parties. This pleasant experience will further promote close interactions between teenagers and gradually transform into puppy love.
The sixth type is compensatory, which is the phenomenon of puppy love that occurs in order to obtain emotional compensation and resolve frustrated emotions. Emotional compensation means that when teenagers suffer academic or emotional setbacks, out of a competitive mentality or in order to get rid of emotional trauma, some teenagers want to use puppy love to relieve their frustrated emotions and obtain emotional compensation from the opposite sex.
Ways to Prevent Puppy Love
First, communication should be natural. In the process of interacting with the opposite sex, your speech, expressions, behavior, emotional expression, and thoughts should be natural and smooth, neither overly exaggerated nor evasive; neither blindly impulsive nor pretentious. Eliminating the unnatural feeling in heterosexual interactions is the prerequisite for establishing normal heterosexual relationships. The best embodiment of the principle of nature is to treat classmates of the opposite sex as you would treat classmates of the same sex, establish opposite-sex relationships as you would a same-sex relationship, have opposite-sex interactions as you would a same-sex relationship, and do not make relationships between classmates uncomfortable or unnatural because of factors of the opposite sex.
Second, communication should be moderate. The degree and method of heterosexual interactions should be just right and acceptable to most people. It will neither prematurely initiate love due to interactions with the opposite sex, nor cause spiritual harm to both parties by avoiding or rejecting the opposite sex.
Third, communication should be genuine and candid. This refers to the issue of attitudes toward opposite-sex interactions. Making true friends is the same as making friends of the same sex.
Fourth, there should be room for interaction. Although you are making close friends, you should leave room for words and deeds when interacting with the opposite sex and cannot be without scruples. For example, you should avoid some sensitive topics between the sexes in conversations, and you should be moderate in physical contact during relationships. Especially in a long-term relationship with someone of the opposite sex, you should pay attention to the degree of the relationship between the two parties.
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